This Remake of a Beloved 90's Comedy is a Privacy Wake-Up Call
How Modern Tech Turns a Classic Comedy into a Privacy Horror Story
Hollywood has a thing for remakes, and this one might be the most crazy one yet.
We received a tip that a remake of Something About Mary is in the works—only this time, it’s been updated for modern times.
It’s still intended to be a quirky rom-com, but our more astute readers may think it’s more of a privacy horror film.
In the original, the main character, Ted, went to great lengths to track down his long-lost crush, Mary. He hired a shady private investigator, sifted through phone books, and relied on word of mouth. It was creepy, sure—but in the 90s, it at least took effort.
In the reboot? Here’s where things get crazy.
Ted doesn’t need any of that stuff in 2025. Now he’s got:
👓 Smart glasses with built-in facial recognition help him identify and instantly pull up information on her and her friends.
📍 Geolocation data from her latest coffee shop visit provides real-time tracking.
📸 Social media profiles reveal her daily routine.
🛒 Data brokers sell him a full profile—home address, shopping habits, favorite restaurants.
🎯 Apple AirTags allow him to track her movements without her even knowing.
…and more!
The result? What was once a lighthearted comedy is now an eerie reflection of how easily anyone can be tracked in today’s world of AI and abundant, cheap data.
The Real-World Implications
Of course, this remake isn’t real (April Fools! 😉), but the underlying premise is all too real—and it affects everyone.
The tools that make this fake version of Something About Mary possible already exist, and they’re widely available to anyone with an internet connection and a few dollars to spend. Data brokers sell your personal information online. Social media posts reveal your routines. Geotagged photos, public records, and smart devices all contribute to an ecosystem where privacy and cybersecurity are an illusion—unless you actively protect it.
Think about it:
If someone wanted to track you the way Ted tracks Mary in this fictional remake, how easy would it be? Would they find your workplace on LinkedIn? Your jogging route on Strava? Your recent coffee shop visit on Instagram?
How to Avoid Being the ‘Mary’ in This Story
The good news? You can take control of your privacy and become a harder target for strangers, stalkers or doxxers to piece together your life. Here are some high-level beginner steps:
🔒 Limit what you share publicly – Review your social media privacy settings and avoid posting real-time location updates.
📵 Turn off unnecessary location tracking – Disable location permissions on apps that don’t need it, and regularly check your device settings.
❌ Opt out of data broker databases – Paid services can help remove your personal info from public listings and search engines.
Ready to go deeper on these steps and more? How about using a de-Googled mobile phone? Browse our archives for deep dives and how to guides. Or DM us for suggestions on where to start.
📌 P.S. If you found this April Fools post informative (or funny?), please restack it and share it with your friends, family and audience.
This helps spread the words and keeps us writing content that will help you bolster your privacy and become a harder target.
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Disclaimer: None of the above is to be deemed legal advice of any kind. These are *opinions* written by a privacy attorney with 15+ years of working for, with and against Big Tech and Big Data. And this post is for informational purposes only and is not intended for use in furtherance of any unlawful activity.
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Thanks for the great post!